ABORTION - BEST OPTION to Take; NO MORAL STIGMA Attached. ALTERNATIVE – Abandoned to Die in Toilets & Dust Bins; Adoption or NOBODY’s CHILD
Now what happens when a fetus is aborted or miscarried? Didn’t that being wanted to have life on Earth? Who has the right to determine for a fetus if it lives or dies?
We all have choice and can and do change our minds. Each soul that decides to come into the body is a full being already.
For a very good blogpost on abortion, GoTo Feministe
The suggestion for Sex Education helps and can reduce the unwanted babies. Perhaps there is now a shift in consciousness in women not wanting to get married and not wanting children. This is becoming more and more commonly expressed and less and less unusual with the female gender.
The emphasis of this shift in consciousness is upon the individual and directing of themselves, not upon the direction of authorities or allowing other individuals to be directing in expectations, but each individual directing themselves, which is shifting beliefs.
But at the same time in tune with nature, they know life is spontaneous and they do not want to deny their bodies the experience in life. They are here to use, enjoy, and express themselves through the body
Cabinet Minister Wants Sex Education Introduced ;
SUNGAI SIPUT, Aug 20 (Bernama) -- A cabinet minister is urging the government to quickly introduce sex education in schools, a move she said would curtail rising unwanted pregnancies in
Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datuk Seri Shahrizat Jalil argued that Malaysian children need sex education as "most young people do not know the risks of having sex".
"So the time has come for us to make sure that sex education is introduced in schools so that they are aware of the consequences of having sex," she said.
Shahrizat added: "These youngsters need help and guidance. So I think we cannot delay (the introduction of sex education) anymore."
The Malaysian government has been reluctant to introduce sex education in schools fearing a backlash from the conservative rural population.
Shahrizat also said was advocating for sex education to be taught in school because the Malaysian society always blamed young women when they got pregnant outside marriage.
"This (unwanted pregnancy) is not the problem of young women alone. This is also the problem of the family and the society.
"But every time an unmarried girl got pregnant, the society would blame her. This is not fair. That is why we should have sex education in school," she argued.
She added that gender bias in
"Those who know of any unmarried girls who are pregnant should inform the welfare department so that these girls can be given protection and help," she said.
Earlier, Shahrizat opened the Sungai Siput UMNO Women's Wing meeting here.
Speaking at the function, she urged the party members to resolve all internal problems in the branch.
It was reliably learnt that some of the Sungai Siput UMNO leaders are having some "misunderstanding" which has threatened the unity of the party branch.
LEFT TO DIE: Why are these babies unwanted?;
Abandoned and left to die. This is the fate of an increasing number of unwanted babies that end up in toilets and rubbish bins among other places. A few are found dead while others are saved in the nick of time. RANJEETHA PAKIAM examines this problem.
SHE grimaces as she holds her swollen belly. Noor (not her real name) is 21 and pregnant with her first child, due any moment. The baby will be given up for adoption even though her 28-year-old jobless boyfriend has promised to marry her after the baby is born.
Noor didn't have anyone to turn to when she found out she was pregnant, as her parents were dead. Too poor to afford pre-natal check-ups and unable to pay for the delivery itself, she spotted an article in a local daily which highlighted a halfway home for single, unwed and pregnant women.
"Even though I am in a horrible predicament, I never thought of aborting the baby. At least my boyfriend is more mature than other men and didn't leave me after we discovered I was pregnant."
Now, she waits at the Pusat Kebahagiaan Wanita dan Remaja (Kewaja) in Gombak, Selangor, where she is being taken care of until she gives birth. Noor's situation is better than other women who conceive out of wedlock. Many are racked with shame and fear that comes from the social stigma surrounding unwed mothers.
Out of desperation, some try to abort the foetus themselves or abandon the newborn in places where someone is bound to find them or it ends up in rubbish bins. A 25-year-old unmarried woman in Kuching was charged recently with infanticide and jailed for five years. She had drowned her infant in a river.
Malaysians were shocked to read about a 14-year-old girl who flushed her foetus down the toilet. The case, reported on Aug 8, is still under investigation. Just two weeks earlier, a dead baby girl was found in a church in
Concerned quarters feel that there is lack of shelters for girls and women to turn to when they're in such a predicament. Kewaja is one such shelter run by the husband-and-wife team of Yahya Mohamed Yusof, 43, and Ruzitah Bahrum, 38.
Between 75 and 85 newborns are cared for every year at the shelter with most infants put up for adoption. Sixty per cent of those who come here are aged between 17 and 22.
Over the past 10 years, Yahya has seen it all and has come to one conclusion: No woman wants to be in such a situation. "No matter how street smart and savvy some women are, no matter how well they know how to take care of themselves, they are still vulnerable.
"It doesn't mean that women who have social lives, dress sexily, or go out to enjoy themselves want to be victimised. But it happens when unscrupulous men take advantage of them. The numbers are rising. Last year, the home offered shelter to 103 women. As of June this year, Kewaja has seen 145 girls and women pass through its doors.
At present, there are 52 inhabitants at the home. Overcoming the problem will not be easy because of the stigma attached to unwed mothers. Yahya says that prevention is the best way through education on gender roles, religious teachings and cultural values.
However, he felt there was a need for more centres and halfway homes to be set up so that women would not be compelled to abandon their helpless babies. On the growing rates of unmarried pregnant women, Yahya said activities which led to the situation were also on the rise.
He said a higher crime rate and incidence of drug abuse had indirectly led to social problems such as these. Yahya suggested that apart from sex education in schools, teenagers be given talks on the roles of man and woman as they embarked on adulthood.
Noor has a different take on things. As someone born in Kelantan, she understands how many young people from the East Coast go through a culture shock when they come to the city to work or study. "Many are naive and easily influenced. I have seen it happen to my friends. "Those who have grown up in the city are the opposite - they begin experimenting with sex at even 14 or 15."
Noor was also of the opinion that more shelters such as Kewaja had to be established to ensure that women knew they had a safe haven. "I only found out about this place after reading a sheet of newspaper used to wrap something."
15 years on, still feeling the loss;
HER hands trembled as the home pregnancy test kit showed a positive reading, confirming her worst fears.
She was barely 20 and still in college and there was no way her conservative family was ever going to accept the fact that she had "done it", let alone have a baby out of wedlock.
Faced with the prospect of incurring the wrath of her parents and seeing her future crumble, Sheila (not her real name) decided there was only one way out - abortion.
"I told my boyfriend, who was also my college mate and he offered to marry me," said Sheila. "But I knew that was nearly impossible because my parents would rather kill me than have me tarnish the family name."
Although her boyfriend was still against the idea of an abortion, Sheila discreetly made some enquiries from college mates who she knew had undergone the procedure.
"Most of the girls did it at a particular private clinic in the city. I decided that it was too risky to go to the same place. I chose a clinic in another part of Selangor.
"When I called to enquire, the clinic assistant told me to fast the night before coming in for the procedure. I made an appointment for two days later."
Sheila's boyfriend accompanied her to the clinic that day.
"I was scared out of my wits. I did not know what to expect. The receptionist wrote my name on a piece of paper and told me to pay the fee up front. My boyfriend paid the RM300."
Ten minutes later, Sheila was ushered into the doctor's room. He checked her blood pressure and asked her if she had any other medical problems before asking her to lie down on a bed.
"The last thing I remember was the doctor injecting something into my hand. When I woke up, I had slight pain that felt like period pains. About an hour later, the nurse told me that I could go home. And that was it."
The abortion is something that haunts Sheila to this day, almost 15 years later.
"My boyfriend, who is now my husband, and I can never get over the guilt. Although we have two lovely children now, we sometimes talk about it and wish we could have had the baby. And we still refer to it as our first child."
____
'You can never put it behind you'
NO one meeting Charlene can imagine the secret she takes to her bed each night.
Behind the happy home she has created for her two children and husband is an
anguish she keeps to herself.
"It is about the child I killed (in the 1990s). I aborted it after a week of pregnancy," says the 50-year-old Charlene. "At the time when I got pregnant, I didn't want another child."
She asked around and easily got an abortion done at a clinic in
RM400 to abort the baby. The whole thing was done quickly."
Charlene still feels sad about it. "You always imagine that you can put it behind you. You never do. I always wonder whether it would have been a boy or a girl."
Her husband tried to be there for her but she says it is an experience a man can never understand. Being Catholic makes it even more difficult for her.
"Each time I go to church, I offer a prayer for the unborn child."
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